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It's about time we had a dating conversation.
Dating is a huge determiner in life's direction that young people, our friends, and family take. Yet, we are mainly silent about it.
The first thing we need to do is set up some principles on Christian dating that will lead to Christ-centered marriages. What are some of these principles?
For starters, we should do away with the notion of 'the one.' This notion states that you ought to find the perfect person before dating. The belief in being with an ideal person is wrong because marriage involves committing to a person despite their flaws and differences.
Two, we should discourage dating for leisure. Purposeless dating does not build us as Christians. Dating should lead to marriage. While on this topic, you should not date non-Christians. A spouse who is an unbeliever will cause you to drift away from the Lord. Worse yet, you might make them your idol.
Finally, have a list of values that you would want in your future spouse, and don't compromise them. If you don't have such a plan, then you shouldn't get into the dating. The list will form a framework for dating.
With that said, the Bible is a valuable source of wisdom on relating with the opposite sex. It gives insights on how to conduct yourself when in a relationship. For this reason, we have compiled for you a list of 54 Bible verses on dating and relationships.
1. Genesis 2:24 KJV
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
'and they become one flesh' forms the Biblical understanding of marriage and family; oneness.
2. Ephesians 5:24 KJV
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
The Biblical view of the relationship between a husband and a wife is as sacred as the union of Jesus and the church.
3. Ephesians 5:33 KJV
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
By insisting on 'each one of you,' Paul commands each person to forget their natural disposition and aim to achieve what the Bible instructs.
4. 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 KJV
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
The idea of yoking together things that shouldn't be brought together is in Deuteronomy 22:9, where God prohibits yoking different animals together. Paul was speaking to the Corinthian Christians who were becoming one with unbelievers.
5. 1 Corinthians 5:11 KJV
But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.
Paul was pointing out to the Corinthian Christians that they should expect godly people to exhibit godly behavior. Yet, they were not keen to see this. In those times, eating with someone was deemed as a sign of friendship and partnership. Paul was warning the Corinthian Christians that they shouldn't fellowship with notorious sinners that identified themselves as Christians.
6. 1 John 2:16 KJV
For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
It is not God's intention to influence us using the lust of the flesh, of the eyes, or the pride of life.
7. Galatians 5:16 KJV
This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
By walking by the Spirit, Paul means having the Holy Spirit dwell in you. You should be open and conscious of the influence of the Holy Spirit. Structure your life according to the power of the Holy Spirit.
8. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 KJV
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Note that Paul does not show how love should feel but is writing on how it can be identified in action.
9. 1 Corinthians 10:31 KJV
Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
Our purpose in life as Christians is to glorify God, including our relationships.
10. Romans 8:28-29 KJV
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.
Whichever situation we may be going through, God's sovereign power is working together for our good and His will.
11. Revelation 21:9 KJV
And there came unto me one of the seven angels which had the seven vials full of the seven last plagues, and talked with me, saying, Come hither, I will shew thee the bride, the Lamb’s wife.
The holy Jerusalem is a literal heavenly city, called the Lamb's wife because all God's people reside.
12. Matthew 19:5 KJV
And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
These were Jesus' words to the Pharisees that go back to Genesis 2:23. The Pharisees wished to test Him by asking him if it was lawful for a husband to divorce his wife for any reason.
13. 1 Peter 3:7 KJV
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
By saying 'live with your wives, ' Peter wasn't speaking to share a house, but truly living with her. These words are a recognition of the oneness that God establishes between husband and wife.
14. Genesis 31:50 KJV
If thou shalt afflict my daughters, or if thou shalt take other wives beside my daughters, no man is with us; see, God is witness betwixt me and thee.
These were the words of Laban as he made a covenant with Jacob at Mizpah. Laban had pursued Jacob when he was going back to his homeland.
15. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 KJV
For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God
The first-century Roman culture was characterized by sexual immorality. Virtues such as innocence and sexual purity were non-existent. Paul urged the Christians to base their sexual morality standards on the teachings of God.
16. Matthew 5:27-28 KJV
Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
The teachers of the time taught that adultery was unlawful. However, they only applied the law to the actions and not to the heart.
17. 2 Timothy 2:22 KJV
Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
The evil desires of youth describe the temptations that are prominent among young adults.
18. 1 Corinthians 6:18 KJV
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
Paul is not implying that sexual immorality is worse compared to other sins. He teaches that it not only has a physical impact but moral and spiritual too.
19. Psalms 37:4 KJV
Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
By taking delight in the Lord, God roots our desires in His will and is therefore willing to grant them to us.
20. Proverbs 31:30 KJV
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
King Lemuel's mother realized that charm and beauty were often a cover to a deformed soul that housed evil and despicable qualities. In contrast, the beauty in a woman that fears the Lord does not go away, and the charm is not deceiving.
21. Proverbs 11:22 KJV
As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.
Solomon urges the youth not to focus on outward beauty alone but also prioritize inner grace.
22. Titus 1:6-9 KJV
If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly. For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not selfwilled, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre; But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate; Holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers.
These were the words of Paul to Titus on the qualities of an elder in the church.
23. Psalms 119:9-11 KJV
Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word. With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments. Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.
Psalm 119:9 is the longest psalm and the longest chapter in the Bible.
24. Titus 2:3-5 KJV
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
The older women mentored the younger women on homemaking for the sake of the Gospel.
25. Proverbs 31:11-27 KJV
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
These were the words of Lemuel's mother to Lemuel on how to identify a virtuous wife. This section is an acrostic in that each verse begins with a successive letter of the Hebrew alphabet.
26. Proverbs 3:5 KJV
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
These were the words of Solomon to his son on trusting the covenant God fully,
27. Proverbs 19:21 KJV
There are many devices in a man’s heart; nevertheless the counsel of the Lord, that shall stand.
It is in man's nature to make plans. However, every plan should revolve around God's will, wisdom, and work.
28. Isaiah 43:18-19 KJV
Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.
These were God's comforting words to Israel through Isaiah. The children of Israel were under captivity and exile. God wanted them to focus on the new things He would do and not on their desperate circumstances.
29. Genesis 2:18 KJV
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
In Genesis 2:18, this was the first time God saw that something was not good- man being alone. God had not planned for man to be alone, both in the social and marital sense.
30. Proverbs 19:14 KJV
House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the Lord.
This verse points out that a good wife is from the Lord. A good wife was one of the initial gifts given to Adam.
31. Proverbs 4:23 KJV
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
Solomon advises that the heart should be left exclusive for wisdom and should be guarded against wickedness.
32. Genesis 24:67 KJV
And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.
The picture of Isaac loving Rebekah is that of Jesus loving the church.
33. Song of Songs 2:7 KJV
I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes, and by the hinds of the field, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please.
The maiden instructed the daughters of Jerusalem not to start something that they could not bring to completion.
34. Proverbs 18:22 KJV
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.
In Genesis 2:18, God said that it was not good for man to be alone and therefore gave Eve to Adam as a gift, demonstrating His favor.
35. Matthew 6:33-34 KJV
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Jesus was urging His disciples not to place their physical well-being as objects to live for but promised them a heavenly treasure.
36. Jeremiah 29:11 KJV
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
God may have made these words to the ancient Jews during the Babylonian exile, but they also represent God's unchanging heart towards His people.
37. 1 Corinthians 10:12-13 KJV
Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
God reminds us that no temptation comes the way that we cannot overcome. On the other hand, He keeps us from temptations we can't handle.
38. 1 Peter 1:14-16 KJV
As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.
The principle of holiness is not of moral purity. Instead, it is the concept of 'apartness.' We should also break off from the world's lifestyle.
39. 1 Corinthians 12:26-27 KJV
And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it. Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.
Paul urges the Corinthian Christians to have sympathy and a heart towards fellow members regardless of their differences.
40. Romans 12:9-10 KJV
Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another
Paul urges Christians to shun hypocrisy as this is not true love and should be driven out of the Christian community.
41. Romans 13:8-10 KJV
Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.
Paul reiterates Jesus' words in Matthew 22:36-40 of loving one's neighbor as these two commands are what all the Laws hung on.
42. Amos 3:3 KJV
Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
This statement is among six ideas that Amos connected and that were true. Each statement reinforces the final point.
43. 1 Peter 4:8 KJV
And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
Where love prevails, we can overlook small offenses; thus, love covers a multitude of sins.
44. 1 Timothy 5:1-2 KJV
Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.
Timothy was instructed to treat the younger women as sisters; that is, his conduct towards them was pure and beyond reproach; as should every man to the ladies in their Christian fellowship.
45. 1 Corinthians 6:13 KJV
Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.
Our bodies were not made for sexual immorality. Using the body for this translates to unplanned pregnancies and STIs.
46. Proverbs 31:10 KJV
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
This passage describes the kind of woman a Christian man should pray for while at the same time is a guide for the Christian woman on the type of character that she will develop when she fears and follows God.
47. Proverbs 19:2 KJV
Also, that the soul be without knowledge, it is not good; and he that hasteth with his feet sinneth.
It is always good to inform ourselves or gather knowledge before starting a project, such as a relationship.
48. James 1:5 KJV
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
Times of trials require wisdom to know whether to eliminate the problem by faith or endure it by faith. We should also seek wisdom before starting a relationship.
49. Ecclesiastes 4:12 KJV
And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
This passage brings to light the importance of human relationships.
50. Proverbs 17:17 KJV
A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
This verse speaks on the qualities of a true friend; qualities that are evident in the Lord Jesus.
51. Matthew 10:37 KJV
He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
Our devotion to Jesus should come first to even our kin.
52. Proverbs 16:3 KJV
Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.
We should refer all our plans or actions to the Lord for His glory.
53. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 KJV
Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.
Paul paints the picture of a church that is full of active members and not passive spectators.
54. Matthew 7:12 KJV
Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.
If we want to experience love and have people reach out to us, we must also love and reach out to others.
Conclusion
There's nothing sweeter than living your life for God, as is expected of us. We should glorify God in everything we do- relationships too. The Word of God should be the lamp to our feet, showing us the way to go. We should also strive to commit all our plans to the Lord.
I pray that the Lord will be the Alpha and Omega of your dating life, that He will guide you in accordance to His will, and that you will be conscious of His counsel. I pray this in faith. Amen.